I can imagine creating lyrics and melodies leads to some soul-searching.
What’s the “unadulterated you” you find there like?
I find
myself to be really fragile and unsure. Like, when I want the song to be
comforting, I can’t say for sure that everything’s going to be
okay — it becomes more like a wish or a hope for things to get even a little
better. So that inability to make those kinds of promises, that indirectness,
just slips into my songs. But I also really think that’s
what makes them mine.
Conversely, are there any times when you’re surprised by the version of
yourself you find?
I
think that happens more often when I’m performing live than when I’m writing songs. Even if I manage to put everything I wanted to say
into the song, it can take a while before I’m actually
able to feel it on stage. But sometimes when I’m
singing, it clicks — like, “Ah, the song’s finally
alive!” And that’s when I discover a part of myself I
hadn’t met before.
Do you get nervous before performing live?
I’m sure there
are people who say being nervous is a good thing, but not for me. I just get
overwhelmed, so lately I’ve been tricking myself into
thinking I’m not nervous. That way I can feel
comfortable and be myself when I go out there. So yeah, what you see on stage
is all a big lie (laughs).