37: Eng Interview 7 — Nigh Magazine

And then you have a solo Quattro tour in Tokyo, Nagoya, and Osaka next spring. What do you think this tour will mean for you?

This will be our first Quattro tour, so I’m definitely both excited and nervous about all the new things we’ll encounter. But more than anything, I just want to have fun with it — that’s my most honest feeling right now. In past solo shows or Haku. Day events, I was often caught up in wanting to “properly deliver Haku.” or “get everything right,” and there were times when that made it hard to perform naturally, or when I almost forgot what it felt like to simply enjoy it. But now I feel that having fun — truly enjoying it — is the most important thing of all.

I can imagine you must deal with conflict or unease sometimes when you’re in the thick of production or back-to-back shows. How do you overcome that, or maybe it doesn’t really bother you?

Oh, it bothers me a LOT. Like, I’ll be worried sick about why I can’t get something right — to the point where I’ve actually written songs about it. The four of us have spent a lot of time talking about why something didn’t feel fun, or how we could make our songs better.

And when was that?

Really recently — like a year or so ago.

So that was when things started getting really busy for you.

Yeah, when things got busy, the number of shows naturally increased too. Of course, it’s great that every show feels different, but sometimes there are nights when things don’t quite click — moments that slip through the cracks alongside all the ones where we really shine as Haku. During those times, we’d sit down together and talk about how to keep from losing what makes us. Sometimes that was enough to fix things, and other times I’d have to look inward and figure things out on my own. I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting like that, and in the end, I always arrive at the same thought — that I need to keep growing.

What usually causes things to not feel fun?

Hmm... It’s important for each of us to understand our songs individually, but when all four of us share a deeper grasp of a song, it makes playing it live way more fun. So instead of keeping that understanding just among the four of us, we’d start asking ourselves, “How can we make the audience feel it too?” That shift in thinking naturally turned it into a positive discussion — and from there, the fun just kept growing.

How exactly do you deepen your understanding of your songs as a band? Does it just happen the more you perform them?

There are some things we figure out by playing the songs over and over, and others where I’ll make specific requests, like, “Try playing this part like this,” or, “For this chorus, I want you to sing like an android — without stopping to breathe.” We also talk a lot about who should take the lead where, like maybe it’s better for the drums to pull things forward here, or maybe this solo of Nazuna’s needs to stand out more — so it’s important that she knows that’s her moment, and that the rest of us pull back and support her. Stuff like that.

So you provide direction.

I tend to call most of the shots during the initial demo and recording, but once that’s finished and we’re in the rehearsal studio, our bassist Kano will often jump in with lots of ideas. As we talk more, we’ll find ourselves saying things like, “It’s just 200 hits on the snare, but this part’s really important!” Being able to have those kinds of conversations and care about the songs together feels like what makes it all so enjoyable.

Do you share the images and scenes you conjure up when writing songs with the others, through words?

Sometimes. It used to be that I’d get a lot of questions like, “What were you feeling when you wrote this?” or “What kind of image did you have?” But lately, the others don’t really ask me that anymore.

Because now they can tell without you saying it?

Maybe. But Kano actually said that sometimes it’s more fun to come up with her own interpretation. That made me realize there’s value in that, too.

I’m sure each of your songs, like Mudai you mentioned earlier, is full of the things you were feeling at the time you wrote them. When you sing them live, do those sensations come back to you, or do you find yourself confronting something new?

It depends on the song for me. Blue Girl, which I wrote in high school, feels cooler the way I sing it now, but with another high school-era tune, Honmono, I find myself not wanting to switch to my current singing style since it always reminds me of those early days. Not that there was anything particularly special about how I sang back then, but it just feels the most pure, and in a sense, the strongest way to sing it. So yeah, it really depends on the song.

Hearing that makes me feel all fuzzy inside.

Yeah, there really are all kinds of emotions involved. I’ve realized so many things only because I’ve kept at it for this long—honestly, even three or four years in, I still wouldn’t have understood this feeling.